Last post....

So....I know it's been a while but the whole NYSC just became so normal. Living in Osogbo became so normal. Teaching became so normal and everything else just so normal. 

Anyhow, it has come to an end. Yesterday was my last day as a Corper. After all the scares and unnecessary procedures the scheme required from us, it's all over! 

I haven't taught since July because school went on summer vacay and didn't resume till Oct. 2nd and we passed out on the 10th. Oh! The governor has achieved changing the school system. They now have elementary, middle and high schools in Osun state, just like in Canada/America. As a result, the school I served at (yes, I'm already talkin in past tense) has been moved to neverland and all the new Corpers are complaining cuz its farther than expected. 

Those 8 days between school resumption and passing out, we were required to go to school to get our final clearance forms and evaluation papers, in which I think I scored the highest in my PPA with 96.4% (not that this means anything cuz those who scored 40 will still get their certificate also). We've also had to go to Ede, which was where we camped during the 3wks orientation. Ofcourse I haven't been there more than twice out of the 5, 6 or 7 times we were asked to come. 

In the end, it became apparent that many components of the program are quite pointless, especially CDS and all the other nonsense we participated in. Nonetheless, I jerked around and disobeyed a few rules and here I am with my certificate. 

I remember on the list when we were signing to receive our certificates, some state codes had memos beside them. Some were absent, some redeployed, some dropped out, some got an extension, some people's certificate ended up in another state by mistake and some were deceased (RIP Kiki). As for the rest of us, the fortunate ones, we Thank the Almighty. I thank my Maker and my parents for making me comfy enough to enjoy the service year and ofcourse the unforgettable friends I made and the valuable life lessons learned. Also the opportunity to witness different living standards. 

I'm gonna miss my pepper woman, my turkey seller, my meat seller and my convenience store lady. I'm gonna miss the 30 naira transport buses, my amala joint and the independence I had here which I never thought I could achieve in Nigeria, much more in Osun state. 

No regrets! Back to reality and job searching. 

~kdamsel~

"Child Marriage Laws"

I have been hearing the name Yerima in relation to child abuse laws and what not but I've been so preoccupied with my own life that I never bothered to read up on this issue.

Contrary to what many believe, Senator Ahmed Sani Yerima et Al are not fighting for marriage to young girls be made legal. Instead, he is fighting the Senate for their decision to delete section 29 (4) (b) of the 1999 Constitution of Nigeria, which stats that" any woman who is married shall be deemed of full age." He is being bashed for taking a fourth wife that is suspected to be 13 years of age.

Now, Yerima and his supporters are just a bunch of brain damaged men suffering from pedophilia but I think the question we should be asking is who are the pot-bellied men who sat around a round table sipping on cognac and sniffing heroine while they all nodded in agreement to write this section to begin with. They must have been high and thoughtless when they made provisions for such acts in the Constitution. I mean, why didn't the section read that anyPERSON married is of age. The limitations of living in a patriarchal society.

Anyways, Yerima is not totally crazy. Pardon my shallow thinking but all I'm about to say were things I gathered from reading up on several studies that were conducted. It is important to understand Yerima's stance even if we disagree because it would help us identify exactly what the issue is and what we need to change as a country.

In agreement to some issues outlined by some women rights groups, the fact that the another section in the same Constitution states that anyone below 18 cannot denounce their citizenship as Nigerian suggests that the law does not recognize you as an adult till u turn 18. Also, there are outlined legal voting ages and ages to get behind the wheels and drive and none of these begin at 13 nor do they accompany the married status.

Getting a bit out of context, the Federal Children Right's Act passed in 2003 defines a child as anyone below 18. Anyone charged with a criminal offense, 17 and below must be tried in the juvenile court and they have some sort of diminished responsibility. They cannot be sentenced to corporal or capital punishment. Once again, the law does not believe you have attained the maximum use of your decision making faculties till you turn 18. Nonetheless, it doesn't not outline a specific age for criminal responsibility. It leaves the states to make those decisions. Infact, some states still operate under The Children and Young Persons Law which was enacted originally in 1943 and was introduced to the Northern region in 1958 and some operate under nothing. What's the point of having federal statutes then??

Most Southern states practice these statutes. However, according to studies, most Northern states follow the Sharia Law, which states that once an individual reaches puberty, they are culpable for any criminal offence they commit. Situating the above discussion back into the Yerima context, under the Sharia Law, reaching Puberty is equal to being an adult so I think we can make a connection and sort of understand his standpoint. In other words, once you reach puberty, under the Sharia Law, you have become 'of age,' therefore, a 60 year old man taking a 13 year old girl as his 4th wife should not be illegal, so to speak. As he stated, he has done nothing wrong since Nigeria has no fixed laws. Sharia law here, Imperial law there, common and customary laws elsewhere.

The problem I see here is that like many other countries, Canada to be precise, certain statutes should be federal and should not vary provincially. Like age of consent to sexual activities, voting age, drinking and voting age and marriage age.

If deleting this particular section is really a biased and an un-Islamic motion, it should still be deleted. In this case, religion should take the backseat. I'm not saying this because I'm a Christian, if it was not in accordance with Christianity, I still would ask Christianity to take the backseat on this one also. It's just down right dirty.

This problem is beyond marrying younger girls I would say. I know we are practicing democracy but we need to have well established federal statutes that will not vary in different states, amongst different religions or ethnicities. We are lacking order, unity and efficient leaders but this isn't a new phenomenon.

If I have any facts wrong or odd opinions, please correct me.

~kdamsel~

Examination responses

So, it's that time again. Marking of the final examination scripts for JSS3 students. They will be continuing to SSS1 if they pass (however, we have heard that no student fails in Osun state, they HAVE to pass one way or another).

They were asked to give the full meaning of the acronym A.I.D.S. We actually read a book the week before their exam and we went over the full meanings of AIDS and HIV. Students in Africa nowadays are no strangers to these acronyms, what they mean and their causes & effects. Here are some answers.

Accyer Immuner Defisection Seidrum
Acquire Immune Deficiency Scheme
Acquired Immune Defisence Sidrums
Acquired Inaugural Drug Syndrom
Acquire Immune Deficiency Sympiom
Acquired Immuno Deficiency Sytom
Acquires Immunion Deficiency Syptoms
Aquid Iminous Disease Sysbols
Acquired Immunisation Diseas
Acuined Immuno deficiency Syndnome
Acquire Immurances Deficiency Symdrons
Aid Immuno Deficiency Sydrom
Acquired Immunose Deficiency Syndrom
Acquired Immnose Deficient Sedirom
Augured Immunse Defineiery
Acumen Immune Deffice Sydrom
Aquaria Immeunion Deficient Syndron
Acguires Immunes Definciery Sydrium
Acqured Immunos dellicienses
Acquired Immnose Deficient Sedirom

Can you contract HIV from touching someone?
Answer - "yes HIV is a thin that we can touch"
Seriously??????

You can't imagine how hard it was to type the answers above. Autocorrect kept fixing shit. Lol.

To test the essay writing skills they had been taught, they were asked to write a composition on one of 2 topics:
1) My Country
2) My English Teacher (me)

You won't believe the answers I got. I have included a few from different scripts.

A naive brilliant girl wrote about her country and said "the citizens of my country are obedient to the laws of the land. They pay their taxes very well and obey the laws of the land."

Homegirl's yet to find out that the citizens of her country don't do so well obeying laws or paying taxes. Moving along...

"The name of my country is Nigeria the capital of my country is Nigeria the capital was newly changed from Lagos to Nigeria."

"My country is a fery large countries with many states and continents" (ROTFLMAO)

"The name of pm Country is Osogbo. I like my country because is beautifully I like my Country because is a big Country The name of my school is osogbo Grammer school
I like my country So much. Because. my. country is a. big. country. that. all"

"The name of my country is Nigeria. I l.i.ke my country the reason is that our government give.us free education and .free. cloth the name of my government is ogbeni. rauf Adesoji aregbesola there are some. thing in. Nigeria. I like. my. country"
(the name he mentioned is the governor of Osun state's)

"The name of my Country is Osun state. Osun state is the biggest state I like my county because thins are very cheap the name of my father is F***** The name of my mother is y*****"
Seriously????????

Some chose to write about their English teacher and while most of them said how natural my beauty is, how many piercings and tattoos I have and how well I can speak English, others wrote some more nonsense. Some even prayed for me in the essay.

Some said I was 4ft, 11/2 ft and 6ft tall. Some said I was light, chocolate and others said dark in complexion. Some said I am an indigenous Osun state citizen from a town/village called Ila Orogun (I got this twice and it made me wonder if I had characteristics of people from there). Some said I live in Ibadan. Some said my favorite food is rice and meat while others said my hobbies were reading and teaching and playing cricket (straight face).

"She is chocolate in composition"
"She is chocolate in comprension"

Both students meant 'complexion' ofcourse.

Most of them talked about me in past tenses. "She was beautiful, she was always friendly with everyone." That's just because they can't differentiate between when to talk in present or past tenses. One even referred to me as an 'it' throughout his essay.

Now, I know this looks bad on me as their English teacher but I tried my best throughout this term. Some of the students improved and others just don't care. And I think it's because they know that the system will push them through to SS1 regardless of their grades so I just amuse myself with their work because education is clearly a joke in this state.

Remember how I avoided being president of my CDS group?? The gentleman that became president when I was nominated has made it his duty to get me active in the group and has appointed me as the chairperson of the Project Committee. But! This is a story for another day.

~kdamsel~

Bank X

I'm about to tell a real story. Something I witnessed and I found shocking. Actually, I'm lying. Not shocking, I mean, this is Nigeria. I won't say what bank or mention any names because I don't wanna be sued for the small money I have. Lol.

As I strolled into a bank to handle some business, we realized that there was a bit of loud talking and what seemed like some sort of dispute. They were decent enough to keep it away from areas where most customers were even though in my opinion, they could have found a better location for such occurrence.

Anyways, my friend and I plus several other customers got the lo down from a staff about what was going on. What happened was, they "caught a thief." Now, these 2 men came into the bank with an original cheque that didn't belong to them. They had signed and were about to be paid off when the teller or someone realized it was a group account and I'm guessing maybe other signatures were missing. I'm also guessing it was a fairly large amount, which might have been one of the alarm triggers. I believe the account belonged to a church and one of the offenders was actually a son of one of the pastors in the church.

So what we walked in on was the judgement. They had the dude kneeling down and a staff was beating away with a belt while others were querying him and abusing him. So, me and my 'activist self' made a comment to my friend saying that they should stop beating him because they were violation his human rights. As I said this, a man walked by and I think he was probably a manager or something in the bank. He looked at me and asked if I sent him to do the dirty work. I said no and I restated what I initially said.

He went in, did his own bit of abusing and querying and yelling then came back out to look for the girl who said they shouldn't beat "the thief". He made a comment like "where's that girl who said they shouldn't beat him, come and marry a thief." I shook my head at his ridiculousness. He came out to talk to me and said that he stole. I said "yes, I know he stole and he was wrong." He said "wrong?" I said "yes, and he should be punished." he said "punished?" I said "yes. He was wrong and he should be punished but you are a bank, it's not your duty to beat every one that tries to fraud your branch. Hand him over to the police and let them do the work." I mean, educated young bankers are beating a thief in a bank. Seriously? I could think of other banks in this same Nigeria where such things would never happen. And I said more about his human rights violations and you won't believe what this man said to me. He said "we are going to lynch him, go and tell any activists."

Ofcourse he was just saying that to tell me that I can't do anything about how they have chosen to handle the situation but seriously? I thought to myself that him and others like him are one of our major problems in this country. Irrational thinking, poor decision and problem solving skills and most importantly, individuals that are high on power. Let's think about this, you are a bank, an institution that will always encounter attempts like these, in fact, some will succeed. Will u beat all of them? I'm sure we know how Yoruba people feel about stealing. It's like you have just launched a nuclear attack. Because of this, I think he felt that killing him was proportional to his offense. How much could this guy have tried to withdraw? What if he came in with a gun instead? He tried to scheme and he failed and he must be punished but not like that. What about presidents, governors and other white collar crime perpetrators? Why isn't anyone beating them? Does he think those ones are better than this petty thief? No! They are not. There's no greater sin. Sin is sin, no matter the gravity.

I also understand some of the other bankers' plight, which is that the guy jeopardized their jobs if he would have gotten away with it. Nigerian banks don't function as a whole in cases of fraud. A blame must be appointed to someone. Someone must take responsibility because penalties must ensue. As a Nigerian banker, you are expected to have superhuman fraud detecting skills. You sign off on a fraudulent transaction in good faith, your ass is grass. You pay it back or face the consequences. Whereas, in Canada for example, you would still have your job as long as they investigated and found that you signed off in good faith.

I also believe they took justice into their own hands because if the police was involved, they would have jerked around and the case may never make it to court but the bank should have lawyers that would follow such cases through to make sure the dude got exactly what he deserved. After all, fraud is a punishable federal statute.

But hey! What do I know?

~kdamsel~

Me! His English teacher!

Last week was sorta laid back and hectic at the same time.

A little history lesson....when we were in camp, we were promised monthly allowances of N19,800 from the federal government and N5000 from the state government. Upon resuming at our PPAs, we found out from our senior colleagues that the state allowance would not be paid monthly. But a lump some in our 7th or 10th month. We heard all sorts of details as to when it would be paid. Apparently, the state would give the school the money in cash to pay their Corpers but the governor (who would be running for his second term next year needs to start making amends, paying every state worker he owes and making people's lives easier) decided to pay us directly to our accounts and not through the school. This is a good thing, which also meant that every single Corper, Batch A, B & C from the two local governments in the town of Osogbo had to report to the secretariat for data capturing. Now, u can imagine how chaotic this could be. Especially how bad things become when too many Nigerians are gathered in one place, especially when it has to do with money.

To cut the long story short, it was chaotic but I'm sure we all got done one way or another. It was a good week because I hardly went to school using this as excuse and hectic because of this one day. I spent about 4-5hrs there. Some people were unfortunate to spend longer hours. I'm sure some spent less but I kinda doubt it. And oh! It doesn't mean people in my batch will be getting paid even in the next 2 months.

Now, on my way home, the unimaginable happened (maybe not the unimaginable but the unbelievable). I won't go into too much details because of time. A male student of mine saw me along the way home, walked with me to my house because it was enroute his house and he hit on me at my gate. Can u imagine? Me! His English teacher! He first mentioned that if my boyfriend saw him walking with me, he would tell him that he is my new boyfriend. I said nothing. Then he suggested that I could come to his house and sleepover and "we can play all night" while I fumbled through my purse to get my keys. I really didn't know what to say but I warned him to never say such to me again and verbally chased him away from my gate. I haven't been back to school since so I haven't seen him.

If I ever blog about being in love with my student, just know that he has jazzed me because I've heard stories about these boys practicing voodoo on their teachers. Whether that is just a rumor or not, if it happens, notify my parents to have me removed from Osogbo. LoL

After that, I thought "such guts." I've crushed on many teachers as a kid but never dared nor did I ever have the guts to tell them irrespective of how close we got. That kid will get to places in life if he channels his nerves to the right situations.

~kdamsel~

CDS Nomination

So! I was nominated by the President and the Provost of the EFCC CDS group for the presidential post. The current heads of the group will be passing out in a couple of weeks. Although I was flattered, I refused to contest by refusing to make a speech as to why I should be elected.

I know many would say "oh, but you should have ran at least." But the truth is, I probably would have been elected (I'm not blowing my own trumpet here). I say this because the last 2 presidents I've witnessed have been men and I would assume the ones before that were probably men also and many people are dying for a gender diversity for this particular post. The people sitting around me were actually encouraging me to run for the position saying they would vote for me and all that.

I refused because I'm hardly present for the meetings and when I do attend, I'm always late because I just don't understand the point of these meetings. And although I would like to work for the EFCC and the likes eventually, we have never, and I mean NEVER! done anything related to the actual organization. I can't possibly head a group I don't believe in.

Furthermore, the president always has to yell for people to be quiet (we Nigerians don't do well in a crowd) and for those who know me well, you know my voice wasn't built for hall speeches and we got no microphones. I mean, I can't even talk over loud music like most normal people. My voice was built for the bedroom. Lol.

The second most important reason is that when school goes on vacation, I would have to remain here in Osogbo for 2 months because of CDS and like most people do, I'm not one to be coming to Osogbo every Thursday. I'm certainly not built for such. I could use those 2 months to search for employment in Lagos, write tests or go to interviews (this is a hint that I am looking for employment for after NYSC so if any of my readers know of any hiring companies or can pull any strings, help a sista).

So, yea, those are my reasons for not contesting.

On my way to eat amala after the elections charades, I was gisting with the korope driver (those who read my old posts would know what this means but for those who don't, korope is what they call the public buses in Osogbo). He told me a story about a female Corper from Benue state who married one of his friends who also is a korope driver. She told him that she could not marry someone who went to school and graduated with her because if she does and her and her hubby both happen to get government jobs and the government owes them salary (this appears to be a common issue for government workers), they will be screwed. So she reckoned a korope driver was a better choice. That's good thinking but seriously? A korope driver? (Pardon my shallowness).

~kdamsel~

"Goggle it"

First, I apologize for not having posted anything in a while. I haven't had much to say and I don't like putting up unblogworthy posts.

So, let's get to bizness. I recently solved a controversy between a boy and a girl. Both in JSS2. I'm guessing they should be in the range of 12 to15 years old max! But in this case, the boy has repeated JSS2 a few times, so he's a little older than that.
Anyways I walked in on the controversy, which my colleagues had been deliberating on.

Here it goes. The girl came to report that the boy slapped her across the face. The Corpers called the boy in. Asked why he did it and he said she had been calling him names and all that especially when she was with her friends. And eventually, on that day, he had enough, lost control and slapped her. Then we asked why she was calling him names and we heard both sides of the story.

Her side: one day, he asked her if she was a virgin and she told him to ask google (she actually pronounced it goggle. Like swimming goggles....lol). After that day, he always asked her to come over his house and she always declined to avoid getting in trouble at home. Then one day, her mom sent her on an errand and she bumped into him and they went back to his house(they stood to talk at the gate she says). Then he started groping her boobies and all that stuff. She then gets him off her, called him names and left. Since then, she would call him names when she saw him at school.

His side: he asked her one day if she was a virgin and she told him to ask google (he said it wrong also). Him and her older brother are friends and word on the street is that every boy takes homegirl for a spin and even her brother testified to this. So, as a big brother figure, he wanted to talk to her and plead with her to change her ways, which was why he asked her to come to his house. As a matter of fact, that was all he discussed with her at his gate. However, his advice rubbed her in the wrong places and she started calling him names ever since.

They argued back and forth, called each other a liar and even cursed off each other. The girl said that she would never wanna be involved with him (although she said she was a virgin) because he has been in JSS2 forever. He maintained that she's too small and un-sexy for him and he would never wanna touch her. He also told her that he would f**k her up and beat her up.

Although I found this whole thing funny because it wasn't as civilized as I've narrated it and half of the discussion was in Yoruba and there's something funny about issues like these being told in Yoruba. We eventually told him not to lay hands on her for whatever reason, told her not to ever call him names again and if they didn't wanna be friends, they should just act as though the other didn't exist.
That was the best judgement we could offer.

By the way, one of the smartest students in my class must have told her mom about me because her mother came by to meet and greet me. I left class to say hello then I went back in. She came in, I met her halfway and she squeezed money into my palm and said "I know u didn't ask, but please, just for your drink." I declined but didn't wanna make a scene in front of the other students so I said thank you. I thought about giving it back to her daughter but my colleagues said she was just appreciating me and I should keep the N1000. I personally don't know how I feel about it or how to react. She had me in a situation where I couldn't continue to decline. I think she did it on purpose tho. Anyways. I spent the money on my way home so I guess that's gone. Lol.


~kdamsel~