Examination responses

So, it's that time again. Marking of the final examination scripts for JSS3 students. They will be continuing to SSS1 if they pass (however, we have heard that no student fails in Osun state, they HAVE to pass one way or another).

They were asked to give the full meaning of the acronym A.I.D.S. We actually read a book the week before their exam and we went over the full meanings of AIDS and HIV. Students in Africa nowadays are no strangers to these acronyms, what they mean and their causes & effects. Here are some answers.

Accyer Immuner Defisection Seidrum
Acquire Immune Deficiency Scheme
Acquired Immune Defisence Sidrums
Acquired Inaugural Drug Syndrom
Acquire Immune Deficiency Sympiom
Acquired Immuno Deficiency Sytom
Acquires Immunion Deficiency Syptoms
Aquid Iminous Disease Sysbols
Acquired Immunisation Diseas
Acuined Immuno deficiency Syndnome
Acquire Immurances Deficiency Symdrons
Aid Immuno Deficiency Sydrom
Acquired Immunose Deficiency Syndrom
Acquired Immnose Deficient Sedirom
Augured Immunse Defineiery
Acumen Immune Deffice Sydrom
Aquaria Immeunion Deficient Syndron
Acguires Immunes Definciery Sydrium
Acqured Immunos dellicienses
Acquired Immnose Deficient Sedirom

Can you contract HIV from touching someone?
Answer - "yes HIV is a thin that we can touch"
Seriously??????

You can't imagine how hard it was to type the answers above. Autocorrect kept fixing shit. Lol.

To test the essay writing skills they had been taught, they were asked to write a composition on one of 2 topics:
1) My Country
2) My English Teacher (me)

You won't believe the answers I got. I have included a few from different scripts.

A naive brilliant girl wrote about her country and said "the citizens of my country are obedient to the laws of the land. They pay their taxes very well and obey the laws of the land."

Homegirl's yet to find out that the citizens of her country don't do so well obeying laws or paying taxes. Moving along...

"The name of my country is Nigeria the capital of my country is Nigeria the capital was newly changed from Lagos to Nigeria."

"My country is a fery large countries with many states and continents" (ROTFLMAO)

"The name of pm Country is Osogbo. I like my country because is beautifully I like my Country because is a big Country The name of my school is osogbo Grammer school
I like my country So much. Because. my. country is a. big. country. that. all"

"The name of my country is Nigeria. I l.i.ke my country the reason is that our government give.us free education and .free. cloth the name of my government is ogbeni. rauf Adesoji aregbesola there are some. thing in. Nigeria. I like. my. country"
(the name he mentioned is the governor of Osun state's)

"The name of my Country is Osun state. Osun state is the biggest state I like my county because thins are very cheap the name of my father is F***** The name of my mother is y*****"
Seriously????????

Some chose to write about their English teacher and while most of them said how natural my beauty is, how many piercings and tattoos I have and how well I can speak English, others wrote some more nonsense. Some even prayed for me in the essay.

Some said I was 4ft, 11/2 ft and 6ft tall. Some said I was light, chocolate and others said dark in complexion. Some said I am an indigenous Osun state citizen from a town/village called Ila Orogun (I got this twice and it made me wonder if I had characteristics of people from there). Some said I live in Ibadan. Some said my favorite food is rice and meat while others said my hobbies were reading and teaching and playing cricket (straight face).

"She is chocolate in composition"
"She is chocolate in comprension"

Both students meant 'complexion' ofcourse.

Most of them talked about me in past tenses. "She was beautiful, she was always friendly with everyone." That's just because they can't differentiate between when to talk in present or past tenses. One even referred to me as an 'it' throughout his essay.

Now, I know this looks bad on me as their English teacher but I tried my best throughout this term. Some of the students improved and others just don't care. And I think it's because they know that the system will push them through to SS1 regardless of their grades so I just amuse myself with their work because education is clearly a joke in this state.

Remember how I avoided being president of my CDS group?? The gentleman that became president when I was nominated has made it his duty to get me active in the group and has appointed me as the chairperson of the Project Committee. But! This is a story for another day.

~kdamsel~