Last post....

So....I know it's been a while but the whole NYSC just became so normal. Living in Osogbo became so normal. Teaching became so normal and everything else just so normal. 

Anyhow, it has come to an end. Yesterday was my last day as a Corper. After all the scares and unnecessary procedures the scheme required from us, it's all over! 

I haven't taught since July because school went on summer vacay and didn't resume till Oct. 2nd and we passed out on the 10th. Oh! The governor has achieved changing the school system. They now have elementary, middle and high schools in Osun state, just like in Canada/America. As a result, the school I served at (yes, I'm already talkin in past tense) has been moved to neverland and all the new Corpers are complaining cuz its farther than expected. 

Those 8 days between school resumption and passing out, we were required to go to school to get our final clearance forms and evaluation papers, in which I think I scored the highest in my PPA with 96.4% (not that this means anything cuz those who scored 40 will still get their certificate also). We've also had to go to Ede, which was where we camped during the 3wks orientation. Ofcourse I haven't been there more than twice out of the 5, 6 or 7 times we were asked to come. 

In the end, it became apparent that many components of the program are quite pointless, especially CDS and all the other nonsense we participated in. Nonetheless, I jerked around and disobeyed a few rules and here I am with my certificate. 

I remember on the list when we were signing to receive our certificates, some state codes had memos beside them. Some were absent, some redeployed, some dropped out, some got an extension, some people's certificate ended up in another state by mistake and some were deceased (RIP Kiki). As for the rest of us, the fortunate ones, we Thank the Almighty. I thank my Maker and my parents for making me comfy enough to enjoy the service year and ofcourse the unforgettable friends I made and the valuable life lessons learned. Also the opportunity to witness different living standards. 

I'm gonna miss my pepper woman, my turkey seller, my meat seller and my convenience store lady. I'm gonna miss the 30 naira transport buses, my amala joint and the independence I had here which I never thought I could achieve in Nigeria, much more in Osun state. 

No regrets! Back to reality and job searching. 

~kdamsel~

"Child Marriage Laws"

I have been hearing the name Yerima in relation to child abuse laws and what not but I've been so preoccupied with my own life that I never bothered to read up on this issue.

Contrary to what many believe, Senator Ahmed Sani Yerima et Al are not fighting for marriage to young girls be made legal. Instead, he is fighting the Senate for their decision to delete section 29 (4) (b) of the 1999 Constitution of Nigeria, which stats that" any woman who is married shall be deemed of full age." He is being bashed for taking a fourth wife that is suspected to be 13 years of age.

Now, Yerima and his supporters are just a bunch of brain damaged men suffering from pedophilia but I think the question we should be asking is who are the pot-bellied men who sat around a round table sipping on cognac and sniffing heroine while they all nodded in agreement to write this section to begin with. They must have been high and thoughtless when they made provisions for such acts in the Constitution. I mean, why didn't the section read that anyPERSON married is of age. The limitations of living in a patriarchal society.

Anyways, Yerima is not totally crazy. Pardon my shallow thinking but all I'm about to say were things I gathered from reading up on several studies that were conducted. It is important to understand Yerima's stance even if we disagree because it would help us identify exactly what the issue is and what we need to change as a country.

In agreement to some issues outlined by some women rights groups, the fact that the another section in the same Constitution states that anyone below 18 cannot denounce their citizenship as Nigerian suggests that the law does not recognize you as an adult till u turn 18. Also, there are outlined legal voting ages and ages to get behind the wheels and drive and none of these begin at 13 nor do they accompany the married status.

Getting a bit out of context, the Federal Children Right's Act passed in 2003 defines a child as anyone below 18. Anyone charged with a criminal offense, 17 and below must be tried in the juvenile court and they have some sort of diminished responsibility. They cannot be sentenced to corporal or capital punishment. Once again, the law does not believe you have attained the maximum use of your decision making faculties till you turn 18. Nonetheless, it doesn't not outline a specific age for criminal responsibility. It leaves the states to make those decisions. Infact, some states still operate under The Children and Young Persons Law which was enacted originally in 1943 and was introduced to the Northern region in 1958 and some operate under nothing. What's the point of having federal statutes then??

Most Southern states practice these statutes. However, according to studies, most Northern states follow the Sharia Law, which states that once an individual reaches puberty, they are culpable for any criminal offence they commit. Situating the above discussion back into the Yerima context, under the Sharia Law, reaching Puberty is equal to being an adult so I think we can make a connection and sort of understand his standpoint. In other words, once you reach puberty, under the Sharia Law, you have become 'of age,' therefore, a 60 year old man taking a 13 year old girl as his 4th wife should not be illegal, so to speak. As he stated, he has done nothing wrong since Nigeria has no fixed laws. Sharia law here, Imperial law there, common and customary laws elsewhere.

The problem I see here is that like many other countries, Canada to be precise, certain statutes should be federal and should not vary provincially. Like age of consent to sexual activities, voting age, drinking and voting age and marriage age.

If deleting this particular section is really a biased and an un-Islamic motion, it should still be deleted. In this case, religion should take the backseat. I'm not saying this because I'm a Christian, if it was not in accordance with Christianity, I still would ask Christianity to take the backseat on this one also. It's just down right dirty.

This problem is beyond marrying younger girls I would say. I know we are practicing democracy but we need to have well established federal statutes that will not vary in different states, amongst different religions or ethnicities. We are lacking order, unity and efficient leaders but this isn't a new phenomenon.

If I have any facts wrong or odd opinions, please correct me.

~kdamsel~

Examination responses

So, it's that time again. Marking of the final examination scripts for JSS3 students. They will be continuing to SSS1 if they pass (however, we have heard that no student fails in Osun state, they HAVE to pass one way or another).

They were asked to give the full meaning of the acronym A.I.D.S. We actually read a book the week before their exam and we went over the full meanings of AIDS and HIV. Students in Africa nowadays are no strangers to these acronyms, what they mean and their causes & effects. Here are some answers.

Accyer Immuner Defisection Seidrum
Acquire Immune Deficiency Scheme
Acquired Immune Defisence Sidrums
Acquired Inaugural Drug Syndrom
Acquire Immune Deficiency Sympiom
Acquired Immuno Deficiency Sytom
Acquires Immunion Deficiency Syptoms
Aquid Iminous Disease Sysbols
Acquired Immunisation Diseas
Acuined Immuno deficiency Syndnome
Acquire Immurances Deficiency Symdrons
Aid Immuno Deficiency Sydrom
Acquired Immunose Deficiency Syndrom
Acquired Immnose Deficient Sedirom
Augured Immunse Defineiery
Acumen Immune Deffice Sydrom
Aquaria Immeunion Deficient Syndron
Acguires Immunes Definciery Sydrium
Acqured Immunos dellicienses
Acquired Immnose Deficient Sedirom

Can you contract HIV from touching someone?
Answer - "yes HIV is a thin that we can touch"
Seriously??????

You can't imagine how hard it was to type the answers above. Autocorrect kept fixing shit. Lol.

To test the essay writing skills they had been taught, they were asked to write a composition on one of 2 topics:
1) My Country
2) My English Teacher (me)

You won't believe the answers I got. I have included a few from different scripts.

A naive brilliant girl wrote about her country and said "the citizens of my country are obedient to the laws of the land. They pay their taxes very well and obey the laws of the land."

Homegirl's yet to find out that the citizens of her country don't do so well obeying laws or paying taxes. Moving along...

"The name of my country is Nigeria the capital of my country is Nigeria the capital was newly changed from Lagos to Nigeria."

"My country is a fery large countries with many states and continents" (ROTFLMAO)

"The name of pm Country is Osogbo. I like my country because is beautifully I like my Country because is a big Country The name of my school is osogbo Grammer school
I like my country So much. Because. my. country is a. big. country. that. all"

"The name of my country is Nigeria. I l.i.ke my country the reason is that our government give.us free education and .free. cloth the name of my government is ogbeni. rauf Adesoji aregbesola there are some. thing in. Nigeria. I like. my. country"
(the name he mentioned is the governor of Osun state's)

"The name of my Country is Osun state. Osun state is the biggest state I like my county because thins are very cheap the name of my father is F***** The name of my mother is y*****"
Seriously????????

Some chose to write about their English teacher and while most of them said how natural my beauty is, how many piercings and tattoos I have and how well I can speak English, others wrote some more nonsense. Some even prayed for me in the essay.

Some said I was 4ft, 11/2 ft and 6ft tall. Some said I was light, chocolate and others said dark in complexion. Some said I am an indigenous Osun state citizen from a town/village called Ila Orogun (I got this twice and it made me wonder if I had characteristics of people from there). Some said I live in Ibadan. Some said my favorite food is rice and meat while others said my hobbies were reading and teaching and playing cricket (straight face).

"She is chocolate in composition"
"She is chocolate in comprension"

Both students meant 'complexion' ofcourse.

Most of them talked about me in past tenses. "She was beautiful, she was always friendly with everyone." That's just because they can't differentiate between when to talk in present or past tenses. One even referred to me as an 'it' throughout his essay.

Now, I know this looks bad on me as their English teacher but I tried my best throughout this term. Some of the students improved and others just don't care. And I think it's because they know that the system will push them through to SS1 regardless of their grades so I just amuse myself with their work because education is clearly a joke in this state.

Remember how I avoided being president of my CDS group?? The gentleman that became president when I was nominated has made it his duty to get me active in the group and has appointed me as the chairperson of the Project Committee. But! This is a story for another day.

~kdamsel~

Bank X

I'm about to tell a real story. Something I witnessed and I found shocking. Actually, I'm lying. Not shocking, I mean, this is Nigeria. I won't say what bank or mention any names because I don't wanna be sued for the small money I have. Lol.

As I strolled into a bank to handle some business, we realized that there was a bit of loud talking and what seemed like some sort of dispute. They were decent enough to keep it away from areas where most customers were even though in my opinion, they could have found a better location for such occurrence.

Anyways, my friend and I plus several other customers got the lo down from a staff about what was going on. What happened was, they "caught a thief." Now, these 2 men came into the bank with an original cheque that didn't belong to them. They had signed and were about to be paid off when the teller or someone realized it was a group account and I'm guessing maybe other signatures were missing. I'm also guessing it was a fairly large amount, which might have been one of the alarm triggers. I believe the account belonged to a church and one of the offenders was actually a son of one of the pastors in the church.

So what we walked in on was the judgement. They had the dude kneeling down and a staff was beating away with a belt while others were querying him and abusing him. So, me and my 'activist self' made a comment to my friend saying that they should stop beating him because they were violation his human rights. As I said this, a man walked by and I think he was probably a manager or something in the bank. He looked at me and asked if I sent him to do the dirty work. I said no and I restated what I initially said.

He went in, did his own bit of abusing and querying and yelling then came back out to look for the girl who said they shouldn't beat "the thief". He made a comment like "where's that girl who said they shouldn't beat him, come and marry a thief." I shook my head at his ridiculousness. He came out to talk to me and said that he stole. I said "yes, I know he stole and he was wrong." He said "wrong?" I said "yes, and he should be punished." he said "punished?" I said "yes. He was wrong and he should be punished but you are a bank, it's not your duty to beat every one that tries to fraud your branch. Hand him over to the police and let them do the work." I mean, educated young bankers are beating a thief in a bank. Seriously? I could think of other banks in this same Nigeria where such things would never happen. And I said more about his human rights violations and you won't believe what this man said to me. He said "we are going to lynch him, go and tell any activists."

Ofcourse he was just saying that to tell me that I can't do anything about how they have chosen to handle the situation but seriously? I thought to myself that him and others like him are one of our major problems in this country. Irrational thinking, poor decision and problem solving skills and most importantly, individuals that are high on power. Let's think about this, you are a bank, an institution that will always encounter attempts like these, in fact, some will succeed. Will u beat all of them? I'm sure we know how Yoruba people feel about stealing. It's like you have just launched a nuclear attack. Because of this, I think he felt that killing him was proportional to his offense. How much could this guy have tried to withdraw? What if he came in with a gun instead? He tried to scheme and he failed and he must be punished but not like that. What about presidents, governors and other white collar crime perpetrators? Why isn't anyone beating them? Does he think those ones are better than this petty thief? No! They are not. There's no greater sin. Sin is sin, no matter the gravity.

I also understand some of the other bankers' plight, which is that the guy jeopardized their jobs if he would have gotten away with it. Nigerian banks don't function as a whole in cases of fraud. A blame must be appointed to someone. Someone must take responsibility because penalties must ensue. As a Nigerian banker, you are expected to have superhuman fraud detecting skills. You sign off on a fraudulent transaction in good faith, your ass is grass. You pay it back or face the consequences. Whereas, in Canada for example, you would still have your job as long as they investigated and found that you signed off in good faith.

I also believe they took justice into their own hands because if the police was involved, they would have jerked around and the case may never make it to court but the bank should have lawyers that would follow such cases through to make sure the dude got exactly what he deserved. After all, fraud is a punishable federal statute.

But hey! What do I know?

~kdamsel~

Me! His English teacher!

Last week was sorta laid back and hectic at the same time.

A little history lesson....when we were in camp, we were promised monthly allowances of N19,800 from the federal government and N5000 from the state government. Upon resuming at our PPAs, we found out from our senior colleagues that the state allowance would not be paid monthly. But a lump some in our 7th or 10th month. We heard all sorts of details as to when it would be paid. Apparently, the state would give the school the money in cash to pay their Corpers but the governor (who would be running for his second term next year needs to start making amends, paying every state worker he owes and making people's lives easier) decided to pay us directly to our accounts and not through the school. This is a good thing, which also meant that every single Corper, Batch A, B & C from the two local governments in the town of Osogbo had to report to the secretariat for data capturing. Now, u can imagine how chaotic this could be. Especially how bad things become when too many Nigerians are gathered in one place, especially when it has to do with money.

To cut the long story short, it was chaotic but I'm sure we all got done one way or another. It was a good week because I hardly went to school using this as excuse and hectic because of this one day. I spent about 4-5hrs there. Some people were unfortunate to spend longer hours. I'm sure some spent less but I kinda doubt it. And oh! It doesn't mean people in my batch will be getting paid even in the next 2 months.

Now, on my way home, the unimaginable happened (maybe not the unimaginable but the unbelievable). I won't go into too much details because of time. A male student of mine saw me along the way home, walked with me to my house because it was enroute his house and he hit on me at my gate. Can u imagine? Me! His English teacher! He first mentioned that if my boyfriend saw him walking with me, he would tell him that he is my new boyfriend. I said nothing. Then he suggested that I could come to his house and sleepover and "we can play all night" while I fumbled through my purse to get my keys. I really didn't know what to say but I warned him to never say such to me again and verbally chased him away from my gate. I haven't been back to school since so I haven't seen him.

If I ever blog about being in love with my student, just know that he has jazzed me because I've heard stories about these boys practicing voodoo on their teachers. Whether that is just a rumor or not, if it happens, notify my parents to have me removed from Osogbo. LoL

After that, I thought "such guts." I've crushed on many teachers as a kid but never dared nor did I ever have the guts to tell them irrespective of how close we got. That kid will get to places in life if he channels his nerves to the right situations.

~kdamsel~

CDS Nomination

So! I was nominated by the President and the Provost of the EFCC CDS group for the presidential post. The current heads of the group will be passing out in a couple of weeks. Although I was flattered, I refused to contest by refusing to make a speech as to why I should be elected.

I know many would say "oh, but you should have ran at least." But the truth is, I probably would have been elected (I'm not blowing my own trumpet here). I say this because the last 2 presidents I've witnessed have been men and I would assume the ones before that were probably men also and many people are dying for a gender diversity for this particular post. The people sitting around me were actually encouraging me to run for the position saying they would vote for me and all that.

I refused because I'm hardly present for the meetings and when I do attend, I'm always late because I just don't understand the point of these meetings. And although I would like to work for the EFCC and the likes eventually, we have never, and I mean NEVER! done anything related to the actual organization. I can't possibly head a group I don't believe in.

Furthermore, the president always has to yell for people to be quiet (we Nigerians don't do well in a crowd) and for those who know me well, you know my voice wasn't built for hall speeches and we got no microphones. I mean, I can't even talk over loud music like most normal people. My voice was built for the bedroom. Lol.

The second most important reason is that when school goes on vacation, I would have to remain here in Osogbo for 2 months because of CDS and like most people do, I'm not one to be coming to Osogbo every Thursday. I'm certainly not built for such. I could use those 2 months to search for employment in Lagos, write tests or go to interviews (this is a hint that I am looking for employment for after NYSC so if any of my readers know of any hiring companies or can pull any strings, help a sista).

So, yea, those are my reasons for not contesting.

On my way to eat amala after the elections charades, I was gisting with the korope driver (those who read my old posts would know what this means but for those who don't, korope is what they call the public buses in Osogbo). He told me a story about a female Corper from Benue state who married one of his friends who also is a korope driver. She told him that she could not marry someone who went to school and graduated with her because if she does and her and her hubby both happen to get government jobs and the government owes them salary (this appears to be a common issue for government workers), they will be screwed. So she reckoned a korope driver was a better choice. That's good thinking but seriously? A korope driver? (Pardon my shallowness).

~kdamsel~

"Goggle it"

First, I apologize for not having posted anything in a while. I haven't had much to say and I don't like putting up unblogworthy posts.

So, let's get to bizness. I recently solved a controversy between a boy and a girl. Both in JSS2. I'm guessing they should be in the range of 12 to15 years old max! But in this case, the boy has repeated JSS2 a few times, so he's a little older than that.
Anyways I walked in on the controversy, which my colleagues had been deliberating on.

Here it goes. The girl came to report that the boy slapped her across the face. The Corpers called the boy in. Asked why he did it and he said she had been calling him names and all that especially when she was with her friends. And eventually, on that day, he had enough, lost control and slapped her. Then we asked why she was calling him names and we heard both sides of the story.

Her side: one day, he asked her if she was a virgin and she told him to ask google (she actually pronounced it goggle. Like swimming goggles....lol). After that day, he always asked her to come over his house and she always declined to avoid getting in trouble at home. Then one day, her mom sent her on an errand and she bumped into him and they went back to his house(they stood to talk at the gate she says). Then he started groping her boobies and all that stuff. She then gets him off her, called him names and left. Since then, she would call him names when she saw him at school.

His side: he asked her one day if she was a virgin and she told him to ask google (he said it wrong also). Him and her older brother are friends and word on the street is that every boy takes homegirl for a spin and even her brother testified to this. So, as a big brother figure, he wanted to talk to her and plead with her to change her ways, which was why he asked her to come to his house. As a matter of fact, that was all he discussed with her at his gate. However, his advice rubbed her in the wrong places and she started calling him names ever since.

They argued back and forth, called each other a liar and even cursed off each other. The girl said that she would never wanna be involved with him (although she said she was a virgin) because he has been in JSS2 forever. He maintained that she's too small and un-sexy for him and he would never wanna touch her. He also told her that he would f**k her up and beat her up.

Although I found this whole thing funny because it wasn't as civilized as I've narrated it and half of the discussion was in Yoruba and there's something funny about issues like these being told in Yoruba. We eventually told him not to lay hands on her for whatever reason, told her not to ever call him names again and if they didn't wanna be friends, they should just act as though the other didn't exist.
That was the best judgement we could offer.

By the way, one of the smartest students in my class must have told her mom about me because her mother came by to meet and greet me. I left class to say hello then I went back in. She came in, I met her halfway and she squeezed money into my palm and said "I know u didn't ask, but please, just for your drink." I declined but didn't wanna make a scene in front of the other students so I said thank you. I thought about giving it back to her daughter but my colleagues said she was just appreciating me and I should keep the N1000. I personally don't know how I feel about it or how to react. She had me in a situation where I couldn't continue to decline. I think she did it on purpose tho. Anyways. I spent the money on my way home so I guess that's gone. Lol.


~kdamsel~

Choosing a life partner

I'm taking a dive into another type of discussion in this particular post. I've been having these types of conversations quite often these days. I have my personal views on this matter so I thought it wld be nice to share the discussion.

When one is choosing a life partner, should it be calculated and logical or should one wait to feel the magic?
You have someone who you connect with on every level and the magic is there? You feel like there's no you without them and the feeling is mutual and you just know they are right for you but you know logistics aren't balanced for a proper relationship. On the other hand, you have another who you know will give you peace, a happy home and equal financial stability. As a matter of fact, you are convinced that this person possesses all the essential morals and values to raise a family but there is no magic, no love. You know, the kind that happens in fairy tales? The kind almost every woman wants to feel?

Does one suddenly fall in love or is love supposed to be cultured?
If you are going to love someone, should it have happened since you started acquainting yourself with that person? Or should it require a conscious effort and decision? Will it grow because this person has everything else you should want? Does cultured love last a lifetime? Or will it fade?

Should sex be the last piece of the puzzle? Or should it be a deciding factor?
Suppose you add sex to the equation? If you got intimate with that person you feel no magic with and you happen to feel that magic this way, does it add the last piece to the puzzle? Does it serve as confirmation that you could actually culture love for this 'perfect' person? In this context, if love is found from havin good sex with this person, is it real? Will it grow? Or should you wait to see if the love grows and if it does not, never delve into the sexual realm of the relationship because it should not be a deciding factor?


~kdamsel~

Disastrous essays

In Section A of the exam, the students were asked to:

Write an essay on any one of these topics
A. Write about "My first day in Osogbo Grammar School"
B. What you want to become when you grow up

Out of about 120 students, I had 3 alright essays. I included one in this post. The kid who wants to be an architect.

Despite the instruction, some students wrote one crappy essay on each topic and I just rolled my eyes and picked one to mark. Some made no attempt to answer this section and the others.......see for yourself.

What I want to become when I grow up.
I will like to Become a pastor to bring many soul to Christ Jesus. So that They will Enter the kingdom of God, in other Not to go Enter hell fire.

My First day in Osogbo grammar school
My name is I***** A******. On this day I was very excited that I would enter into a new school. I came with my dad. When we entered the school we were told to collect number so that they can place us in class. I was place in Class B Firstly, we were taught English. I appreciated how they taught us because they taught us really well. I listened well in class and I understand what the teacher is teaching. I began to have friends. When it is break time we went out to go and play football, When we closed I went home. I like this school because they are good teacher to teach us.

Topic: What you want to become in future
I want to become an architect in future. An architect is a person who do the planning of a house, Or we can call it a building. An architect also draws how to design a house. After this, An architect hand over the drawning to a civil engineer. After, a civil engineer start the completment of the building. When you want to build, after buying some plots of land, you give it to the surveyors after that, the architect is the next person to take over the job.
When an architect works for a person who want to construct a big building, he is paid a large amount of money.
Any body is free to become an architect either male or female.
Without an architect, you can not be able to draw the planning and get the true design you want your building to be.
my reasons for Choosing architect is that, architect earns a lot of money.
I am truly proud to be an architect.

What I want to become when I grow up
I want become a medical doctor because I want to save life to treat people so that they can live healthy because This days There are know many doctor and many people dies because of small disease and I like science very much because I used to sick every month and where I go to hospital I see There dress with white and There cap. In Almight I will be medical medical. In shall ALLAH.

About my First day in Osogbo grammar school
My name is T*** O******, I live in Cele aubsuru
I want to write about my first day in Osogbo grammar school.
My first day in Osogbo grammar school it was a very happiness day for me because I think that my life have Change the primary schools and when I enter the School Compound it was a big school I am Very surprise because I did not it ever before and when I enter the class they group us to the Was So beautiful and we enjoy and we are feeling like not living and on that very we celebrate because the new life have started that day and it Was a Joyful day we all play together and when we close from school and we were happy to go home.

What I want to become when I grow up
first I want to become a doctor, I like doctor because. It is combined with my blood and my parent are also scientist I love my family because the all joined me in being a doctor.

What you want to become when you grow up.
My name is R**** A****** I want to become is a act If I was to a act I most read my Book
I most finished my scoredary school I most finshed my u.t (she made an attempt to spell university but decided to write u.t when she realized he couldn't spell university) and most obey mother and father and my teachers and other person befor I get to be act.


My first day in Osogbo grammar school
My name is A**** K**** I live on Osogbo I want to talk about my first day in Osogbo gramar school O.G.S. when I finsed my primary 6 and corrot my certificate and will arived in O.G.S and The name of my best friend He name was Ola and meet ourselfe in shool and will are best friend we wrote our book very well and read to pass our examlation We are good friend I am 11 years old and my friend was 11 years I always eat rice and Beans We are good friend and we pass our examination Amin.

What do you want to be one when you grow up
When I grow up I want to become a medical doctor in future that I will be Injecting many people, prescribed drug for people and operate people. (LMAO!)

Needless to say that my post was full of red underlined words and I had to fight autocorrect many times. *sigh*

~kdamsel~

School's out!!

Have you ever been scared to perm or put a weave inyour hair because you have constantly been sweating over the weeks? I'm at that stage at the moment. Like my friend says "Osun state's got 2 suns" but it seems Lagos state's got 2.5.

Anyways, it's almost time to go home for 3 weeks. School's out in preparation for 3rd term. Exams are almost over and I have marked and seen some hilarious papers. I included a composition(essay) section in the English exam and you can imagine the kinds of grammar, punctuation, spelling and writing styles I had to endure. I got frustrated especially while I marked this portion of the exam. I saved it for the last because I dreaded it very much. So much that I can't even be bothered to type out one of them for you to read but I might include 1 or 2 before I eventually publish this post.

I realized there was a kid in my JSS3B class that the other students respect so much and I often wondered why. I mean, he looks older than most of them but I wasn't sure by how much. In his essay, he stated the year he was born and by my impeccable calculations, he's 21 this year. Now, there are Corpers his age. He still has 3 more years of secondary school before 2 - 5 years of postsecondary education. Now, I haven't asked why he is that old at that level in his education, but from his grades and attitudes towards education, I have a feeling he has repeated a few classes. He hardly comes to class, too busy playing soccer or roaming about the school compound and when he does come to class, his performance is poor. He doesn't do homework or nothing important to up his grades. I can't even punish or give him any aje butter beatings. Lol. I'm too scared. Anytime I have a list of noise makers written, I always find a way to skip hi when his name comes up. It's insane!

It's time to go back to Lagos and I'm shit scared. The peace and tranquility and freedom I have here is not equal to that I'll have in Lagos. I can't even hold my phones in my hand in certain areas in Lagos. However, I miss home and Jagger. Can't wait to have 3 weeks worth of fun. Since I moved back from Toronto, I have lived longer in Osun state than Lagos.

~kdamsel~

The perks of being a Village English teacher

No, I did not abandon my blog. It's just that this place is slowly becoming normal. I do the same things almost daily and all are becoming routine.

School has been as crazy as ever. The students are just nut cases. Seriously, we had mid-term tests statewide and I had a blast marking my papers. As a matter of fact, I was privileged to see other teachers' scripts and what their students wrote.

I had tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks as I read some of these answers because they were unrealistically dumb. In other cases, you just can't figure out what language the student wrote in.Yes, it's really that bad.

I'm starting to believe I can't save them. Reason being, the mid term papers were supposed to weigh 30% of their overall grades. Now, if anyone doesn't know this, I definitely do. Not all students perform well on tests. Some will do better on essays, assignments or other forms of evaluation. So, what I did was to mark the test out of 10% and 10% for notes and the last 10% for assignments because I had a lot of zeros on the test after all the review and inside scoops.

Irrespective of my thoughtful idea, I still have students who received 0 of out 30%. I even saw 2 students seated to write the test even though I had NEVER seen them in class before. They didn't even have the new uniforms because they are never at school so they missed the memo.

To cut the long story short, I wish I was able to share all the hilarious answers with you all but I can't.

Here is a question I asked on the test followed by the correct answer and some answers my students wrote down. Keep in mind that we answered this particular question in class during review 2 days prior to the test. Enjoy :D

Question - What is the definition of a simile? Give an example.

Correct answer - a Simile is a comparison of two unrelated things using 'as' or 'like'. Example - as white as snow or white like snow

"A simile means somebody should be happy. Example: give me a smile"

"Simile is a word that is simile but not the same speeling"

"Similie is a words that is opposite"

"Simile means giving a world in a short way"

"A simile is an expression of feeling. Example: as matter of fact I am sad"

"Definition is mean person simile and were person definition"

Unbelievable right?

~kdamsel~

A post in the moment.

(This post was composed on a bike shortly after Nigeria won the AFCON competition but I just remembered to post it)

At the moment. It's 10:46pm and I'm on a bike (okada) heading home. I'm loving every minute of it. Ofcourse father must not hear about this and I hope he doesn't catch it through FB.

Anyways, so Nigeria just won the African Nations Cup or whatever it's called and I been chillin with some friends and Osogbo has scattered. People everywhere, noise everywhere, people speaking in their local dialect cracking me up and others speaking bad English. I want everyone to understand that this is an experience I would not, I repeat! I Would not trade for anything. Although it's far beyond my ubiquitous (I've been wanting to use this word) lifestyle, it's memorable and enjoyable. It's official. I love Osogbo! Nothing to do but drink and teach. Lol.

~kdamsel~

Quick Updates

Quick updates but before I begin, men have got to stop bringing out their peepee and peeing anywhere then touching people all over. What a disgusting habit and I know the men reading this are guilty. Stop!

The governor has decided to change the school set up to something different from the whole Junior Secondary School (JSS) & Senior Secondary School (SSS) stuff. He wants to adopt the elementary, middle and the high school set up like in the Americas. So, I'm sure you understand why he gave the same uniforms statewide. When he starts moving and merging students from different schools, they will all blend together. He also is trying to rebuild schools so he is reshuffling students and breaking down and rebuilding.

However, all the information above, I gathered from others, I have no idea if those are the main reasons. I'm almost not bothered enough to research. What they did for example, my school, Osogbo Granmar School-Junior Secondary School 1 has been moved to a new site, where we are supposed to be joined by 3 or 4 other Junior Secondary Schools. The problem now is, the students have to walk with their desks on their heads or however to the new site. Is this ridiculous or what? The distances aren't close at all in most cases. When they reach the new location, the environment is not conducive so many schools that moved last week have moved back to their original schools. Perhaps, the middle of the school year is the wrong time to make such drastic changes. Seriously! (Pictures of my old and new school are coming soon).

The amazing thing is, of all the schools he's moving in Osun state, only one school protested. Fakunle Senior School students. They went to the Governor's office to protest, slept in their school so that they wouldn't demolish overnight. I'm not sure which part of the decision they are against but seriously, no one can explain to another person what exactly the plans are and why they are in motion.

I now imagined if every Nigerian citizen was like these students, it would be a better country. People don't fight in Nigeria, we just find a way to live around inconveniences. We are all to concerned about taking care of us and ours. You know, like adjust with the shitty situations. I mean, with this change, parents have to give more money for transportation in most cases and Corpers who have rented apartments close to their PPA would have to spend more on transportation. It's just ridiculous. I'm lucky because my new location is the same price and not too far from the current location but not everyone is as fortunate as I am.

Let me tell you briefly about the demonstration of craze at my CDS group (EFCC). In case you didn't know, I am a batch C Corper. Batch A Corpers are passing out on February 14th and the president, vice president, treasurer and general secretary of every CDS group had to hand down the positions to the newly elected candidates last Thursday. You need to see havoc, disagreement and controversy during the election. I was flabbergasted at the ludicrousness. It reminded me of one of the elections or debates or something in a Nigerian House of Assembly (that place might not even exist but please use ur intelligence to figure out where I'm talking about), where grown men were throwing tantrums and chairs at each other. Smh! That's how it all begins. I recorded but I wldnt't be able to upload.

Two last things, the abaya Corper and the student. I have asked around from people who have been there longer and they assured me it was a harmless relationship. I talked to the girl also and she didn't say anything suspicious and better still, the dude is passing out with Batch A so one less issue to worry about.

And oh! I found my crush!! BUT! He's not what I remembered. I think over the holidays I painted a different picture of him in my head.

~kdamsel~

Follow my blogspace!!

Thanks to my readers! Thank you for your interest, motivation, encouragement, comments and inputs. I'm waiting for critiques to help me improve.

I found out that you can follow my blog so that you don't miss out on a single post. Nonetheless, I'll still notify you through my BBM status, FB and Twitter account but just in case you miss my notification, you can have another.

For those who read on a mobile device, once you are on www.kdamsel.blogspot.com choose the option on the bottom of the page to "view web version."
If you are viewing on a non-mobile device, once you are on www.kdamsel.blogspot.com scroll to the far right. You'll see an option to "join this site". You can join through your google, twitter or yahoo account. You can also choose to join privately or publicly.

I assume you'll receive notification when I post anything. Don't worry, I only post when something blog-worthy happens so you won't loose sleep from my notifications.

I have included some screenshots to make it easier to find what I've described above. Don't forget to keep the comments coming. *kisses n hug*

~kdamsel~

A Corper's worst nightmare

Every Corper's worst nightmare would be getting an extension on the already very long one year. You know how Nigerians like to start any kinda meeting with a prayer (even a meeting on how to embezzle other people's money)? During our orientation, the school officials and students that said the opening and closing prayers included this line "may we not get an extension during this service year" LOL. That's how serious it is.

Normally, school closes at 2pm except on Fridays when closing is 1pm. Let's just say that I have never heard the closing bell (and my punctuality deficiency has resurfaced again so I haven't witnessed the assembly after the first week). I work with my friend and we leave the school when we finish teaching the latest period. Whoever finishes first wastes time till the other is done and we'll go do something or go home after.

So, on this blessed day, we left a little after 12pm. I had an amala moment, so we went to the bank first, ate amala at our favorite amala place and went to the pharmacy to pick up a few items (this pharmacy has everything, even things I stocked up on from Toronto). Anyways, we parted ways because she gets off the bus shortly before I do. I got a BBM message from a colleague saying that a LG representative was in school. Apparently, they come around every now and then to have Corpers sign in as documentation to decipher who doesn't come regularly or who doesn't stay till 2pm.

I thought my colleague was lying till I started receiving calls from other people. Right when I got to my doorstep, I got that last call and I figured it wasn't a joke. The perks of living significantly close to the school. I carried my farmer looking legs(when I leave the school, I look like a farmer's kid because the school isn't tared, tones of sand and dust) and wanted to hop on a bike but I really try to avoid bikes plus I was wearing one helluva tight skirt. I hopped on the bus and met up with my friend at the school entrance. I had called her to rush back to school before the representative left. There was so much adrenaline in the air as Corpers we didn't see throughout last week suddenly arrived on scene to sign, a couple smelling like bathing soap. Everyone calling someone absent and others cooking up ways to help their colleagues sign. We eventually signed and headed
back on the street to go back home AGAIN! Lol.

I'm sure it won't be a big deal if you were absent for one or two of these things but seriously, I don't even wanna find out. However, that doesn't mean I'm staying in school till closing EVER! I'll just keep praying "may I not get an extension on my service year." lol. My threshold for Osogbo cannot extend beyond the one year commitment. It just cannot!

I found out why all schools in Osun state now have the same uniforms. I'll share in my next post along with the reasons why I haven't updated you all on the alleged agbaya and student issue I mentioned in my last post. This post is long enough and I'm roasting.

~kdamsel~

Corper-student relationships

There's an appalling issue that I heard about before I started teaching and now I'm seeing it.

First of all, my students are loving me more and more. They know when to get serious and when to laugh. The ones I don't teach wanna know my name, the ones I'm teaching can't stop trying to get my attention when I walk by them. The girls will hook arms with me while I walk and walk me to my office after class. They will gimme gist about their life and school and play with my hair while I stand beside them. It's just amazing. I adore almost all of them because they are interesting characters.

During our orientation, school officials mentioned something. They pleaded with female Corpers not to get pregnant by school boys and male Corpers not to impregnate their female students. We all laughed at the issue as if it wasn't a possibility. The issue now is, Corpers dating and sleeping with students. I have heard many shocking gists about Corpers and students dating since we were in camp. At the moment, I have not witnessed a male student/ female Corper relationship yet but I have been noticing, particularly one female student and a male Corper. Now, this girl has gotta be the cutest girl in junior high. She is gorgeous and brilliant but I won't mention her features or characteristics for safety and privacy purposes. Yesterday, I noticed a male Corper engaging in an intense, one-on-one conversation with her in her classroom, at her desk during their lunch break. I could just imagine what exactly he might have been talking to her about. I must say that I was quite disgusted at the thought and trust your girl, I took a picture(I'm sure the nosy people wanna see it but I definitely can't post it). I don't know what I'll need the pic for but I like doing paparazzi work. Anyways, I wanna stop this from happening or at least try to stop it whenever I notice such connections forming. I could just mind my business but what kinda person would I be? I can't speak to my fellow Corper because they know and I know that what they are doing is quite fucked up but I will talk to the girl. I'll do the work from that end and hopefully I can make a difference and save her from these agbayas (my translation - dirty old fools, for my non-Nigerian readers).

Now, on to the not so appalling issues. The governor of Osun state decided to have all the students in Osun state wear the same uniforms. How absurd is that? Just Imagine. One cannot link a student to a particular school. The sad part is that I'm sure the idiots around him when he made the rule were nodding and smiling and telling him what a brilliant idea he had just come up with. A table of fools, greedy people and ass kissers. Smh. Although, I've never spoken with him before and I have no idea why he made that decision, I have searched my brain and I can't figure out why on earth. However, the senior school uniforms resemble Ankara textile. It's lovely and true to the Yoruba culture. Nonetheless, stupid idea to have all students in the state wearing the same clothes Mondays to Fridays.

Also, there are rumors/talks that they might increase alawee/alawi(Corpers' federal allowance) to N33,000 from the current monthly N19,800(on top of that N19,800, Osun state gives Corpers N5,000). While I believe the rule should not apply to us seeing how we enrolled before they passed the bill, I've been hearing otherwise. If we do get it, all I gotta say is 'that's wassup.' At least it will increase the minimum wage in the country as discussed in our staff room. I can't imagine people work for less than N19,800. May God help us.

~kdamsel~

Aje-Butter Beatings (ABB)

I am guilty of beating my students. However, the cane has become my advocate. You'll see an example of a time I was forced to inflict some "aje-butter" physical pain on a student later on in this post. A colleague of mine tagged my corporal punishment skills as such because apparently, I don't whip the cane hard enough and I restrict the beating to their palms. Also, I overheard a student telling the next student up for beating that it doesn't hurt and he shouldn't worry too much. Lol.

The English department does not have a single permanent teacher. All the teachers are Corpers. Funny how they just gave us the curriculum and said "get teaching." Due to my personality, I take every duty I'm assigned seriously, so I really wanna teach the hell outta English but it's difficult. The foundation is already twisted and because they have Corper teachers, I imagine many of them just come to class, deliver a lesson with mediocrity and leave. After all, they are gone in 9 months, so whatever happens, happens. But this is someone's future and I wish the government would invest in more permanent teachers.

For example:
I was marking homework on a Friday, which I assigned on the Wednesday. I always flip back a couple pages to see if the student submitted the last homework and I realized the girl had not submitted a single homework since I started teaching them (about 4 in total). I called her in and we had a conversation.

Me: you have not submitted ANY homework since the term started
Student: Aunty, I did not have the book(what she really meant was that she does not have the textbook)
Me: and you think now is the the right time to say this?
Student: I did not have textbook
Me: what about the one I gave you on Tuesday? The last homework. Were you in class?
Student: no Aunty. I am not in class then when you give us.

This student at JSS3 cannot even speak in appropriate tenses. I realize that I cannot save them but I will do the best I can. Needless to say that I gave this girl 3 ABB for taking her homework for granted.

I passed my boundary one day and assigned a 5 sentence summary of a passage we read in class. Oh my God!! Big mistake. I endured marking class A's homework. I spent half my time trying to figure out what they were trying to say. When I got to class B's I just checked to see if they were done and gave 5 for effort. I could not bear reading anymore. I was frustrated. No joke, no exaggerating. On a different day, I asked for 10 sentences in relation to the day's lesson and one of my male students wrote "I like your tatto on your back" (those kids must have x-ray vision or something).

Each day gets better though. They like me more, I like them more, we have fun in class, I allow them to clown a little and we get serious when it's time to work. But my aje-butter beatings have been efficient though. I make sure I don't abuse the power. The goal is to gain their cooperation and respect immediately so that the need to use the cane will decrease with time because they really do take Corpers(especially female Corpers) for granted. However, so far, so good.

I swear I have been abiding by their dress codes yet they complained about 2 of my skirt lengths and earrings. Surprisingly, no one talks about the nose ring. When they complained, I let them know that I was positive my skirts (an inch above the knee) were appropriate by every standard, even church. I sport some long ones also, so I mix 'em up. I mean, a girl can only have so many skirts. However, I don't argue, I don't get vexed, I just say that I understand, I apologize and wear them again and again. Let's see who tires out first :D

~kdamsel~

Village teaching

Before I begin my post (because I know everyone is dying to know how being a village teacher is going) I would like to share one of the oddest incidents ever. I was at a church in New York. I forget the name of the church but it was after church and I was standing outside between the parking lot and the church. I was waiting for the people who invited me to wind up their meets & greets. That was when a boy who was walking from the church to the parking lot kissed me on the lips. Ofcourse I was shocked. I was confused. When he leaned in, I thought he wanted to welcome me with a hug because I had stood up when they asked first timers to identify themselves by standing up. Anyways, he kissed me and walked away. Not a word, not a smile.

The teaching, it's going alright so far. I have met my students: JSS3A & JSS3B. When I was introduced as their English teacher, they screamed and clapped. And I followed with a "shut up jor, why are you making noise, don't u have your own names?" As corny as it was, it made them laugh.

So, catch this, the period is 40mins long and I must have spent the whole 40mins trying to quiet them down. I really wanted to try the 'no beating thing'. After all, it worked on us when I was in middle school and high school in Toronto. But I feel that the kids don't respect Corpers especially people like me because they are almost as big as I am. So, I have decided to engage in corporal punishment. Before I made my decision, I wondered why that should be the answer to getting the students to cooperate. Mind you, these students of mine speak perfect Yoruba in the Osun dialect, not regular Yoruba(not that it has anything to do with corporal punishment but I want you all to know). They actually took turns to read in English and it wasn't bad at all. I was quite impressed. They pronounced big words properly in most cases.

While I wondered why corporal punishment was the answer, I figured it's because parents have no patience for their children and beating your child is usually the fastest punishment. The maximum force becomes the only way to get a kid's cooperation. In the West, they threatened us with writing lines and we shut up. Then punishment escalates to detention, getting written up by the principal and what not. So, anyways, I have decided to give them a trial with physical punishments and lines even though I'm convinced I'll be wasting my time. I'll still try.

I got my curriculum and I already gave them homework due on Monday. They were really loud so I doubt some of them heard, neither will they bother doing it because I didn't write it down and they might think I forgot. I will make those who do not hand in their homework scapegoats and see if that will serve as a deterrent. I'm on a quest to attain respect from my students even when I'm playing with them.

They made fun of my accent. I tried my hardest to dull down the phonetics but I can only try so hard. I even speak Yoruba sometimes when I wanna say something funny.

#randomthot: One thing downtown Toronto and Osogbo have in common is that you can wear a hair net on the road and no one gives a shit. I couldn't try that in Lagos. I like the freedom cuz I don't always enjoy combing my weave. But not to my PPA ofcourse. Just to buy something, walk someone or even go to the market.

I didn't find my crush at CDS. I wasnt even able to locate my CDS group (EFCC). Even the workers at the LG had no information to give Corpers on where certain groups meet. Only in Nigeria. I give up on my crush for now. Im hoping I see him at general CDS meeting, which holds on the first Thursday of every month at the LG and EVERY single Corper registered with the Osogbo LG is supposed to be present and if I don't see him there, it's over.

I'm going to church after a year and change today. #dontjudgeme. I'll blog about it if it's worth it.

~kdamsel~

First week

Where do I begin? Hmmm. So much has transpired in my first week back and I wanna tell it all but I can't remember all the events. Very interesting also.

Anyways. I've been to my PPA and I will be teaching English at the J.S.S 3 level. The downside to this is that I have classes twice a day, 4 days a week. It's 4 days instead of 5 because we have CDS every Thursday and we all get to miss our PPAs (can't be in two places at once, ya know). I will save the student-teacher bond I develop with my students for a later date. When they have all fallen in love with me cuz it's bound to happen, with me being so amazing and all :D.The school has a few dress codes that I wanna share with you guys.

Guys cannot wear necklaces/ chains or whatever around their necks. They are encouraged to tuck in their shirts when they are wearing one. They cannot sag their pants but they can wear jeans that have no holes or tears in them.

As for girls, sleeveless tops are not encouraged but you can wear them as long as they are not cut too steep around the armpits. No bogus neck jewelry and earrings. Long weaves have to be rolled up. Absolutely no pants or leggings. We can only wear skirts(or tie wrappers) but no short skirts. Lastly, no painting of the face but you can wear slight make up. Surprisingly, no one has said anything about my nose and extra ear piercings YET!

My apartment is almost furnished to my taste but my parents still want me to redeploy to Lagos. And really, today I was on the korope(Osogbo public buses) and I said to my colleague, "I can't believe I'm on a bus in Osogbo." Nobody in this world could tell me that I would end up and live with being in this town 4 months go. It would have been quite absurd. However, I don't mind staying. My biggest fear with redeploying is that, many people who have tried to redeploy to Lagos have ended up in neighboring states like Oyo, Ogun and what not because they just could not be posted to Lagos. Now, as sure as this link is and as crazy as this may sound, I have come to believe that this is where I'm supposed to be. Also, if for whatever reason, the connect fails, I would end up in a different state and it would suck ass if that happens. That means readjusting, reprogramming and re-channeling my brain to another state that isn't Lagos or Osun. I don't have the strength or endurance for such an occurrence. NONE whatsoever. I have already reached my threshold when I ended up in Ede for camp 4 days after returning from Toronto. As unreal and unserious as it may sound, it wasn't easy. It took a lot more than my blog conveyed. I wanted to call it quits many times but I just couldn't p***y out from what I started already. It's just not my style. When I see other people who went overseas for 4 years of university, come back and act like they aren't from Nigeria and it's the worst thing for them to be in a village, I just roll my eyes and 'yimu' at them.

A little story b4 I end this. I saw a friend whom I've only seen in America (and the last time was in 2008) in Osogbo today(that's wild right?) and we hung out for a bit b4 he headed back with his fam to where they originally came to Osun state for. When they were leaving, I hitched a ride to the main street with them to catch a korope and come home. When I hugged him goodbye, he said "Mama, I dey leave u for Osogbo, make u dey roll with us cuz this is weird." (Mama is what the fam and a few friends call me). I laughed and thought about it again and said "nah man. I'm cool still. I'll hop on the bus and I'm home in a bit." I'm gangsta like that. Life is what you make it.

Tomorrow is our first CD meeting and I'm hoping to God I see my crush. I'll keep you all posted.

~kdamsel~

Osogbo 2013

It's funny how everyone's pants are hitched. Lol. I just tuck the ends of mine into my socks to save me from looking ridiculous. However, the pants are a hot mess. There can't be any fabric cheaper than the NYSC's khakis. My pants have a tear in the crotch area and my pockets bottom stitches are almost fully out so if I put anything in there, it's most probable that I won't find it when I reach my destination. That's a habit I'm trying to break when I wear those pants.

I got an apartment but it's not anywhere close to what I described in my previous post. Ofcourse I was aware that my father would have to build me that house (the same kind I described in my last post) if I wanted it in Osogbo. Speaking of father, my parents were just phenomenal. They set me up proper. I feel like I should be more responsible because I'm actually an adult whether I like it or not. They took it upon themselves to ensure that I would not need anything and whatever I needed would be easy to reach and money can buy it. I'm very lucky. #thankful

What I got was a room with my own bathroom and toilet. It's got one of those washrooms I hate. You know those ones where your toilet and everything else gets wet when you have your shower because there is no bathtub or a shower stall? Yea. Those ones. I have a shower though. But I probably won't use it much because hot water doesn't dispense from it. I would have to boil water and mix it with cold water and 'baf' because it get pretty chilli in the mornings and nights in Osogbo but I love it. The kitchen, I'm sharing with 2 other ladies and I really dreaded the idea of sharing any living spaces but I had no choice man. The whole house is not bad actually. It's clean and fairly new and the ladies in the building are very friendly and most of all, they mind their own businesses. The downside to this place is that you can hear everything your neighbours say or do & vice versa. The landlord did not think about putting bricks between the units for proper demarcation or perhaps it was more important for him to save as much as possible. The amazing part of this town is that there is always power. PHCN in this part of the country is not such a bitch.

The sad thing was, I had to send Jagger home. This place is not ideal for him. The ladies actually didn't mind having him around but he slept by the door on our first night, all night, wanting to go outside at odd times. I imagine he was thinking "mommy, we couldn't possibly be staying in this box all night, could we? (however, everyone who has been in here so far have uttered that the room was pretty big.)" I believe he felt that way because normally, at home, we would leave our room and go to mom or dad's room, then downstairs, then out to the compound and what not and now it's like wtf? Also, there are many things on the floors for him to eat and the last thing I need in Osogbo is a sick puppy. By the way. He is six months today. Anyways, I will miss him dearly and I can't wait to see him.

I resume at my PPA(refer to previous posts for the meaning of this acronym) on Monday and I can't wait because I need something to do. I hate being idle. I have had amala like 2 days in a row now. I just can't get enuff :D

P.S: I still haven't found my crush. I didn't see him on the both days I went to the LG (refer to previous posts for the meaning of this acronym).

~kdamsel~

Happy New Year....Happy??

It's a new year but it feels like another day and I'm mad cuz people are very excited on BBM, but I don't share the same excitement. Instead, I'm in my room listening to Lady Antebellum and wanting to sleep, wake up in the morning and feel better. Plus, the bangas(fire crackers) won't stop and the sound is driving me nuts.

Why so blue?

I will be spending the new year's at my gram's house after 8 years. I'm quivering just writing about it. See the thing is, growing up, from the moment I can remember, grampa had always thrown a big party and people from all over come to celebrate at the house and we have a blast, stay awake new year's eve to watch the cow get killed(as brutal a that sounds) and the food get made till we no longer can stay awake. By 'we' I'm referring to the first 3 grandchildren from my maternal extended family; my brother, myself and my cuzin Busola. Now, Busola died April 24th, 2011 and I'm yet to see her siblings for the first time ever since. I don't know how I'll feel. It just can't be the same. I feel like everyone will miss her some more when they look at me seeing how we were born 50 days apart and raised practically like twins until my family moved to Toronto. Even after the move, we kept in touch, hung out every time I was in town and told each other everything. I feel like I might OD on memories tomorrow. I don't know how to function with that side of the family without her. First time ever, without her. I'm too close to the memory markers and it breaks my heart into pieces that I would just have to enjoy the day without my partner.

Secondly, it's getting closer to my move to Osun state to continue my NYSC and I'm nervous. The apartment I might have found might not be exactly what I wanted and I might have more people in my surroundings than anticipated. I'm bothered there might be some who don't like dogs and I hate restricting Jagger to a room or a small space. It breaks my heart also. I keep telling myself that Jagger and I are lovable entities, so, we'll be fine. I'm sure that would be the case. Mom packed many things I might need and we bought other items, which serves as a reminder that it's getting closer to moving. I'm part excited but nervous at the same time. I mean, it's one thing to move on my own but another thing to move on my own to Osun state. Dammit!!!

Anyways, I hope to go to sleep, wake up, get to my grams and find happiness and comfort in being with the fam rather than shedding tears at the demise of my cuzin and causing others to feel pain also . I want to remain strong for her siblings and everyone else.

R.I.P Omolola Oluwabusola Adetayo (April 27,1987 - April 24,2011). I will always remember.

So Help Me God.

On a brighter note, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Thankful to see another year alongside my loved ones.

~kdamsel~